Review 3432

I’m not sure about the title of this blog… Guilty Secret seems to imply that something is being hidden from someone. Our author is incredibly forthright and open about her entire life here, and keeps little short of nothing secret from the reader. And my guess is, the blog itself is secret from her long-time boyfriend but the content within is material I’m sure she’s gone over with him a million, billion times.

The blog is a fairly young piece of writing, having started just this summer. The content is extensive, as our author writes without ceasing and has a lot to say. The look and feel of the blog is very clean, white background, black text, easy navigation. The only complain that I have is that there are no “jumps” to cut the incredibly long entries down and display a simple stub for the reader to click upon to visit the rest of the article. The entries are very long and detailed, and scrolling becomes the rule rather than the exception.

Our young author is based in England, maintains her first name anonymity throughout the blogspot-based blog. She refers to her boyfriend as “Baddie.” She is 23, he is 28. She is madly in love… he says he loves her, but… it seems that he likes things the way they are. She wants to be married, and wants him to commit to her, to their life, to their relationship. But he just doesn’t seem like he’s wanting the same things.

They’ve been together for about five years, and to me, it sounds like she wants him to crap or get off of the proverbial pot, if you know what I mean. Which brings them to couple’s counseling.

I found the blog compelling to a point, and then got to a place where I wanted to yell at her and at him. I am not sure our author is actually in love with her boyfriend. I think she’s in love with the IDEA of being in love, and the prospects of being in a long term committed relationship. And he is obviously in love with taking drugs and his own personal lifestyle…

She pours her heart and soul out, but I get the impression that she should take a really good look at her own age (23) and her own life, her dreams of working overseas (was going to Spain before University, didn’t go because of a job opportunity; might come to the USA to work for a while, he seems like he isn’t interested in HER life choices but wants to live where HE wants — LA or NYC, and isn’t too committed to the idea of … anything).

Our author is very adept at looking at other relationships and seeing the flaws in them, especially those of her siblings, which she refers to by number. In a recent entry she discusses a situation with her brother where he states his girlfriend wants him to choose her or choose the drugs, and he won’t drop the drugs… she’s very good at point out what other people should do, but really needs to DO something with her own life.

And when just about every entry has a “category” of “drug taking” it becomes obvious that there are serious problems in the lives of the people she’s surrounding herself with. She herself walks away when Baddie involves himself with “jubes” and other drugs… but nothing changes, and I get the feeling it just won’t.

She’s very young, very smart, and should really learn to love herself and live her life without stagnating in a relationship that is after five years obviously a co-dependent mess. I’m psychologist, but at 23 you shouldn’t have to be going to a therapist to try and fix your relationship. That’s for 43. 23 is for living. I hope she gets to do some before finding herself pregnant and miserable with two other children at 30. I don’t feel compelled to revisit this journal. The writing is decent, but after reading the entire thing, I’m hoping that changes take place in both of their lives. I wish her the best.NULL