Frii The Miis

Our family used to have a Wii but it followed my son to college. So I was shocked to sii a brand new one on the dining room table one afternoon. I asked my wife why shii had gotten a Wii. Shii said because they were on sale at BigMembershipWarehouse-OfOversizedStuff for five dollars less than regular riitail. Can’t argue with that logic. But you can’t play a Wii without a Mii. My previous Mii which I have been using as an avatar all over the place is now trapped in the lost Wii off at college so I had to start over. The key fiitures are an oval face, pale complexion, short reddish hair and glasses. While the new Mii looks better, I miss the smirk of the old Mii. There is still no way to get a Mii onto a computer. You can carrii Miis around in your Wiimote when you travel and transfer them to different Wiis, but they can’t leave the Wiiniverse. As before I resorted to the photo capture kludge of taking a photo of my Mii off the TiiVii and uploading it into my computer So I make this plli to the powers that bii at Nintendo: Pliise frii our Miis. Let them bii where wii can sii them on our PiiCii. Don’t be so griidy by kiipping the Miis proprietarii. I would be diilighted if you would help mii with my follii. Let us siize the day and put this scriid on every site you sii: Frii The Miis!

The Gen Game

In my last post I bloviated about baby boomers and even made up some brand new categories for them. I came up with four different semi-distinct generations that precede, coincide with, and follow the Baby Boom. But rather than get all sociological and philosophical about the differences between them, it's easier to just use examples. That is why I've invented the Gen Game. You just have to come up with four related people, groups, events, or things with one belonging to each of my generational divisions. The relationship can be as explicit or as subtle as you want. Here are my examples: Proto-Boomers (1938-1946) Hippie-Boomers (1946-1958) Tail-Boomers (1959-1968) Generation X (1969-1980) Eisenhower Kennedy Nixon Reagan Lee Harvey Oswald Sirhan Sirhan Squeaky Fromme John Hinckley Strom Thurmond George Wallace John Anderson Ross Perot Bess Jackie Nancy Hillary Apollo 1 Apollo 13 Challenger Columbia Leave It To Beaver Brady Bunch Cosby Show 90210 Dobie Gillis Room 222 Welcome Back Kotter Saved By The Bell American Grafitti Animal House Dazed and Confused none beer LSD cocaine Ecstasy pregnancy syphillis herpes AIDS AM FM MTV Napster Wham-O Mattel Atari Sega Sock Hop Love-In Disco Rave The Day The Earth Stood Still 2001 Star Wars The Matrix Krazy Kat Fritz the Cat Garfield the Cat Bucky Katt Bye Bye Birdie Hair Xanadu Rent Marilyn Monroe Jane Fonda Farrah Fawcett Kathy Ireland Ed Sullivan American Bandstand Sonny and Cher TRL The Quarrymen The Beatles Wings Paul McCartney Buddy Holly Jimi Hendrix John Lennon Kurt Cobain Diana Ross Janis Joplin Madonna Britney Spears Beatles Osmond Brothers Bay City Rollers New Kids On The Block I invite quibbles, substitutions, and additions. Feel free to explain why something does or does not belong. BlatantCommentWhoring™: Now it's your turn to play. Just leave your Gen Game list in the comments.

My-My-My-Generation

In my last post, I tried to argue that Barack Obama is not a Baby Boomer despite having been born in 1961, well within the traditional chronological range. Part of the problem is the vastness of the usual definition of the Baby Boom. Anything that spans eighteen years can’t be considered a single entity. Instead I propose the following reclassification: Proto-Boomers (1938-1946) While not part of the Baby Boom proper, kids born in this range (which includes my father) set the precedents that paved the way for the Boomers to follow. They invented rock and roll, established teenage rebellion as a cultural phenomenon, and codified the post-war paradigm. Music: Rock and Roll - Elvis, Chuck Berry British Invasion - Beatles, Stones, Herman's Hermits Politics and History: Eisenhower Cold War Hippie-Boomers (1946-1958) These are THE Baby Boomers, the drug-taking, free-loving, psychedelic stereotypes that have dominated the cultural landscape for half a century. Admittedly, the years are fuzzy. George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were both born in 1946. One I would call a hippie, one I wouldn't. These are the people that don't remember the sixties because they lived them. Call them the Woodstock Generation whether they went or not. Music: Psychedic Rock - Jefferson Airplane, Jimi Hendrix Hard Rock/Heavy Metal - Zeppelin, The Who, Black Sabbath Art Rock - ELP, Yes, early Genesis Politics and History: JFK Assassination Moon Landing Tail-Boomers (1959-1968) People just a little to young to have hit the heyday of late 60s and early 70s, myself included, spent all their life hearing how great the sixties were without having any real connection to it. Former hippies are like an exotic extinct species to us. We know they exist, but we've never seen one in the wild. Us peak-to just-past peak boomers are tough to classify. One recent commenter has coined the term Generation Jones with "Jones" meaning both generic and bland like Mr. Jones or envious like "jonesing". I think that makes us sound like a soft drink or a Cheech and Chong routine. Another name often used is Late Boomers which sounds like we are developmentally slow in some way. I call us Tail-Boomers because we are the downside of the baby boom, as the birth rate began declining again. And we are the part of the baby boom that goes through the door last. Music: Disco - Donna Summer, Bee Gees Corporate Rock - Kansas, Styx, late Genesis Punk Rock - Clash, Ramones New Wave - Flock of Seagulls, Human League Politics and History: Watergate Iranian Embassy Take-over Generation X (1969-1980) Another ill-defined group that has gotten a lot of undeserved bad press for being cynical slackers that reject the peace, love, and understanding ideals of the baby boomers. Also known as (depending on whose book is being hawked) the 13th Generation or the Baby Bust, they tend to be darker in mood, music and dress. Music: Alternative - Depeche Mode, The Cure Grunge - Nirvana, Pearl Jam Rap - Beastie Boys, LL Cool J Politics and History: Ronald Reagan Fall of the Soviet Union And that is where I have to stop. In 1990 I had a kid and entered the Barney Generation, so I'm not qualified to evaluate the generations between me and my son. I'm sure we can dice and slice these groups lots of ways, but I find these spans of about a dozen years each to be a pretty good separation. You either remember Woodstock or you don't. You either had a draft number or you didn't. The name Squeaky Fromme means something to you or it doesn't. And I have only touched on the many, many cultural clues and touchstones that can be used to help you pigeonhole people into a demographic or mindset. BlatantCommentWhoring™: What generation are you and why?

Barack Boomer

With the election of Barack Obama, we finally have a leader that crosses barriers. A man that unites two very separate aspects of the American Experience by firmly straddling a divide that has been the cause of acrimony and bitterness for a long, long time. His very existence causes both camps to claim him as their own even though he is really neither. No, I’m not talking about Race, this is about something way more important. It’s about a generational divide. Baby Boomers versus the rest of us. A baton has been passed. Take this passage from Gail Collins of the New York Times. Finally, on behalf of the baby-boom generation, I would like to hear a little round of applause before we cede the stage to the people who were too young to go to Woodstock and would appreciate not having to listen to the stories about it anymore. It looks as though we will be represented in history by only two presidents, one of whom is George W. Bush. Bummer. Despite their very different styles, both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush were born in 1946 right at the start of the post-war baby boom. Clearly a milestone has been reached. We have gone beyond the most self-absorbed and self-important generation in our history. Those of us younger than these older boomers have had to live in the shadow of their accomplishments and experiences. Heather Havrilesky of Salon (who is so Gen-X she has turned being a couch potato into career) sees Obama’s election as vindication of Generation X. Dear boomers: We're sorry for rolling our eyes at you all these years. We apologize for scoffing at your earnestness, your lack of self-deprecation, your tendency to take yourselves a little too seriously. We can go ahead and admit now that we grew tired of hearing about the '60s and the peace movement, as if you had to live through those times to understand anything at all. {snip} But when we watched Barack Obama's victory speech on Tuesday night, we looked into the eyes of a real leader, and decades of cynicism about politics and grass-roots movements and community melted away in a single moment. We heard the voice of a man who can inspire with his words, who's unashamed of his own intelligence, who's willing to treat the citizens of this country like smart, capable people, worthy of respect. For the first time in some of our lifetimes, we believed. But isn’t Barack technically a baby boomer? He was born in 1961, well before the technical end of the baby boom which is usually pegged at 1964, the year I was born. I self-identify as many things including as Irish and red-headed and geeky, even though each of those is debatable. What I do not consider myself is a baby boomer. I have nothing in common with the typical stereotype of the drug-taking, free-loving, psychedelic hippie. I came of political age in the Reagan Era which cannot possibly be more different than the Summer of Love. So what is Barack? If the defining moment of the Baby Boom was Woodstock, Obama, who was only eight at the time, has no claim to it. He was only two when Kennedy was assassinated (and I was in vitro). He never got to march for his civil rights, but instead had to fulfill the promise that those pioneers blazed. He didn’t have to fight to sit at a lunch counter, but he broke the final barrier. He never marched against a war, but now has to lead us out of one. No, he is not a boomer. But he has the chance to finish everything they started. BlatantCommentWhoring™: Is Barack a Boomer? If not, what is he (besides Muslim)?

Carolina Blues

The Georgia Tech – North Carolina game that I went to this weekend quickly turned sour for the Jackets and I began to turn to other ways to amuse myself while the Tarheels had the ball, which was frequently. I turned to a philosophical question that had bugged me since I pulled into a parking lot full of people dressed in every variation of light blue regalia: Did God so love North Carolina that he made the sky Carolina Blue. While a casual scoping out of the stands on this cloudless afternoon sure made it seem so, I decided I needed some photographic evidence to examine. For example, this photo of the east stands has a beautiful gradiant colored sky that would let you pick about any shade of blue you wanted. Part of this effect is due to the polarizing filter I had on my normal lens that really makes the sky “pop” out under the right conditions. For example, the sky in the background of this picture of GT Pep Band (my son is completely obscured, so no use trying to spot him) is so dark it looks like a storm is brewing. And this one is even darker. One of the Photoshop Elements features that I have become enamored with is the photostitch function that makes panoramas from groups of pictures. Here is my wide angle double picture of the stadium. I did my best to keep the exposures exactly the same but there is still a fringe of tone change in the sky right where the two pictures overlap. The picture on the left was at 1/200 second and the one on the right was 1/250 second and you wouldn't think it makes that much difference but it does. I’m sure someone with madder skilz than me could blur and sponge and gradient that right out, but it still shows that the shade of the sky is rather subjective. To better isolate the colors, I switched to my telephoto lens and took the filter off. Here is a close-up of the flag flying at the north end of the stadium. As you can see, the foliage on this fine Fall day was just blazing with color of its own. Thanks to the miracle of Photoshop, I can take that flag out of the trees and put it right against the sky. And while I hate to give credit to a rival ACC team, I have to admit to the fidelity of that particular shade of light blue. If the sky isn’t Carolina Blue, then it ought to be. BlatantCommentWhoring™: What color is the sky in your world?

Carolina Cookie Mission

I may have mentioned it once or twice, but for those that don’t recall, my son is in the marching band at Georgia Tech. The full band plays at all the home games and selected away games (To Hell With Georgia!) but sends smaller pep bands to the more distant road games. Each year one road game is an all-freshman road trip. This year that game was against North Carolina. Since Chapel Hill is roughly half-way between Baltimore and Atlanta, we decided to road trip down and see him play. We lollygagged around making arrangements and had to buy tickets in the visitor’s section from TicketScalpingWebsite for a significant by not exorbitant mark-up over face value. We also had to book rooms in nearby Durham rather than Chapel Hill proper which was completely sold-out since this was the Tarheels homecoming game. Part of our mission was to deliver to him two boxes of Girl Scout cookies that my wife had brought along. Gametime was noon and he called us about 10 saying that he had about 45 minutes to kill, but we were still at the hotel. By the time we drove into town, parked at the local mall, boarded the Tarheel Express shuttle bus as the only passengers not wearing Carolina Blue, and got to campus, it was 11 am and we had missed the window of opportunity. Our strategy was then to go find our seats in the stadium and wait for the band to arrive. But first we had to make it through security. The gate checker was strictly enforcing the “no outside food” rule as applying to our plastic grocery bag of cookies. We appealed to the chief of security who must have had kids of her own and she let us through. When the band came in, I went down and crowded through the saxophone section to let my son know that we had cookies for him and not to get on the bus without them. We even intercepted him for a quick picture as he made a brief foray out of the band section. After the game our goal was to follow the band out of the stadium and catch up with them. And here we made a strategic error. As the crowd started clearing, we headed up and out instead of waiting around and following the band out at field level. As we rounded the back of the stadium, I saw the band disappear into a parking garage tunnel, but the trail went cold when we got to the other side. We eventually spotted a sea of white shirts heading up towards the Dean Dome. A long uphill climb and two cell calls later, we made it to the bus and handed off the cookies. No word yet on whether they even survived the bus trip back to Atlanta. So when you figure in the game tickets, two night hotel stay in Durham, and gas for the 600 mile round trip, it may be the most expensive care package ever. But as they say in the credit card commercials: Chance to see your son play on the road: Priceless.

Uggh at Uga

For about two weeks now I have been grimacing (pun intended) every day at the comics. Mother Goose and Grimm has been running into the ground a gag about Grimmy being the understudy mascot for the University (sic) of Georgia’s inbred nuts-licking abomination of a mascot, Uga. Uga is the name of all of UGA’s (Uga – U-G-A, get it? Good, excuse me while I vomit) bulldogs. I think they are up to Uga VII, each one uglier thant the last. Somewhere deep in the bowels of the UGA veterinary science building is a breeding lab where only the drooliest, wrinkliest, and least intelligent puppies are allowed to breed. The ones that don’t make the cut are sold off to Yale, Georgetown, Mississippi State, and Gardner Webb as second-rate imitations. Finally, Mother Goose and Grimm's nauseating sequence of lame fire hydrant jokes has paid off with a gag about the true role of a bulldog, a victim of yellow jacket venom. I end with a few bulldog jokes from various locations on the internet (including here): How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch? Pay him for the pizza. Q: How many University of Georgia freshman does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, it's a sophomore course. Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Georgia weddings? A: To keep the flies off the bride. Two University of Georgia fans were at the UGA-Tech game when Uga walked out to the middle of the field and started licking himself as dogs are wont to do. The first Georgia fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second Georgia fan replies, "You better not, that dog would bite you." What do you get when you breed a pig with a bulldog? Nothing. There are some things a pig just won’t do. The comic strip is woefully off schedule; Tech doesn't play UGA until November 29, but it's never to soon to start hating early. BlatantCommentWhoring™:Go ahead. Tell a Georgia joke. Or one for the rival of your choice.

Sarah Palin's Next Job

With the GOP in tatters, and a lot of campaign people now running around blaming everything on Sarah Palin, she is going to need a second career to fall back on. While she is still the governor of Alaska, judging by her per diem expense account, that is hardly a full-time job. In the interest of public service, we need to come up with some jobs she can do that are within her skill set. Which seems not to include Vice-President of the United States. Here are some of my ideas: Hostess at the Wasilla Ole Country Buffet. She does seem to have a winkin’ way with the old codgers that come in for the early-bird special, which this week is dead duck unvetted veeps. Niemen Marcus Personal Shopper. She sure seems mighty handy with the credit cards when someone else is footing the bill. Of the many accusations flung at her, nobody has attacked her sense of style. Geography Tutor. The Republican National Committee spent a lot of money teaching her which countries are in NAFTA (hint: face Russia and then turn around for one of them) and that Africa is a continent not a country. It would be a shame to let all that book-learnin’ go to waste. Constitutional Scholar. She has some very unique theories on the role of the vice-president and the meaning of the First Amendment that she can develop further in a more formal academic setting. Perhaps as the Dick Cheney Endowed Chair of Political Studies at alma mater Matanuska-Susitna College. Northern Exposure Remake Dialect Coach. We sure became enamored with that folksy accent she’s got. You betcha! Plumber. Maybe Joe needs an assistant. Especially after he gets his license and buys that fictitious business he’s all enamored of. Moose Hunt Guide. I’m contractually obligated to make at least one moose joke. It’s in the Sarah Palin Satire Handbook. Bill Kristol’s Fact Checker. Good old Kristol Meth sure was smitten with how smart she was and he sure could use the help in that department. With the economy in the tank and the Republican Party in disarray, it is the imperative that civic-minded citizens keep poor Sarah out of the unemployment lines lest she think presidential candidate is a career she’ like to pursue further. BlatantCommentWhoring™: Do your part and make some suggestions.