Does this mean I'm a Grown-up?

I Remember

It was 1976. I was in sixth grade.

I remember that Mr. Hunt, my teacher, wore the most horrendous (to me now) powder blue leisure suit and red print shirt in our class picture.

I remember feeling sad when Ford lost and Carter won, because my father seemed defeated. I didn't know why.

I remember gas lines, when you could only buy 10 gallons on certain days - if your license plate ended in an even number, you bought gas on that day, odd numbers, the other days. All that goes through my mind tonight is PERSONALIZED tags. I have them - there is NO odd or even?!!! When will I get to buy gas?

Our new President is a Socialist. Lord help me, because I remember.

I remember interest rates - a concept that was as foreign to me back then as nuclear physics. I remember the rates for buying a home going to 12% and higher - the prime interest rate went above 17%.

Tonight, I understand my parents' concern.

There's only so much damage that a socialist President and a Democratic Congress can do.

I pray that my family can financially survive it.

Beware the Blue Dragon

C. made the costume. Yes, the "fire" lights up.

And yes, we have all worn the head at some point in time this weekend.

And The Winner Is....

ME!!! I've reached "major life goal" number TWO this year. You may remember that #1 was to row a double with #1 Son. We did that back in August. Goal #2 was to row competitively. Check that one off - I rowed in the Head of the Lafayette regatta in a novice women's 8. We WON our race! Woo Hoo!!! #1 Son rowed in 2 boats for his HS team. One came in third, and his other boat won their race as well. Here we are...looking really rough (well at least *I* am!) in the aftermath.

"Major life goal" #3 is to actually run a 5K race.

Yeah, I know.

No, I'm only on my second glass of wine.

Really.

She Was Arrested???

I just saw the report on the news. A mother was arrested for threatening to kill her children.

Obviously the officers involved do not have teenagers.

FINALLY!!!!

Today I reached a goal that I set my sights on 1 year and 15 days ago.

Today I rowed with #1 Son.

Not Really A Runner - Yet

I've never thought of myself as a runner. In fact, I never even WANTED to run. Ever. That old cliche, "I only run when chased" applies to me completely.

So how is it that I find myself going into week 2 of the Couch to 5K training program? What in the world possessed me to go to a local running store and purchase a pair of "real" running shoes last week? What was I thinking when I downloaded "crap-tons" of podcasts this weekend?

I have no clue.

I'm having fun though (OK, maybe not fun, but at least a sense of accomplishment). #1 Son is "training" with me. He rows competitively (crew), so he has to run a lot. He says that he's proud of me and is enjoying running with me. Personally, I think he's just scared I'm going to drop dead and there will be no one around to cook dinner.

At any rate, I'm going to see how far I can take this. Everyone I have ever talked to says that the C25K program really works. I'm not sure I really want it to, but I'll keep you posted.

Don't call me a runner though. It's more like a slow jog.

Under Attack

There is a vulture in my house.

I saw it.

It dove at me.

I was speechless for about 4 seconds. That coupled with my "look of terror," hyperventilating and frantic pointing finally clued C. in that something was wrong.

You bet your a$$.

We were under attack.

C. says he hates flying things too, and then asked me where it came from. Holy Mother of God, how the hell should *I* know?!?! Does he actually think I invited it into our house?

After several minutes of searching, C. told me to calm down, that my "hysterics" might wake the kids. He tried to convince me that it was "probably just a little water bug." Yeah. And I'm the friggin Queen of England.

It is at least 6 inches long.

No, I'm not exaggerating.

I crept back down the stairs a few minutes ago to ask my hero, "Have you hunted it down and beat it to death yet?"

He chuckled and said, "I haven't heard any fluttering."

He hates me.

I think he's trying to kill me.

If Only I Had Known

I believe I am the mother of the only child in North America that still has wrapped Christmas presents under the tree. Well, they were still under the tree until we took it down today. We waited 12 days after the holiday on the off chance that The Baby was observing some warped form of "12 Days of Christmas" or something. Turns out, he just wasn't all that interested.

The kid was pretty much done after opening the stockings. He made it as far as this big bouncy-ball thing that lights up. After that he was over it. While everyone else opened their gifts, he bounced that thing all over the place. While the big kids were trying on their new clothes and stacking up their haul, The Baby was content to chuck his new ball at the dog.

Yes, it's true that the older two were the same way as little kids. I distinctly remember one Christmas when The Princess spent the entire day playing with a package of Styrofoam cups. #1 Son was more partial to bows and ribbons (always great fun to attach to the dog). Fine, I get that.

But never...and I mean NEVER has one of the others ever left a present unscathed, still sitting in it's pretty paper and bows. They might have played with household items and trash, but they at least tore through some wrapping paper. Not this kid. Honestly, the whole family could have saved some cash and just bought him the fargin' bouncy ball.

I'm trying to look on the bright side, though. At least I've got his birthday shopping all done. He'll never notice the Santa wrapping paper.

Box THIS, Buster!

I curse the man (it had to have been a man) that invented the "box."

Wait...let me rephrase that.

I curse the person who taught my Husband that "cleaning" means stuffing all the crap you can into a box and shoving it into a closet.

"Out of sight, out of mind."

He actually said that to me with a straight face.

I'll be lucky to avoid spending my Christmas in a jail cell.

Creativity

Heard in my house this evening:

"NO! I want not beans!"

"But beans are GOOD! You LOVE beans! You liked them last week."

"NO! STOP sayin' dat. I want NOT beans!"

"Day-O!"

"Say Day-O!"

"Daylight come and he wan'go home."

"Day, he say day he say day he say day."

"HEY! Whachoo singin'?"

"It's the Greenbean Marching Song. They like to march into your mouth."

"I want song!"

"DAY-O!"

I ought to write a book.